My on-again off-again relationship with Quincy has finally reached its climax - a definitive off. It was a whirlwind romance, something I did not wish to end, but it was just too broken to fix. The plot is too thick for me to narrate completely, but suffice to say that he did not show any more effort.
You can't blame me, I did my part, and more. I communicated with him, begged him to talk to me, but he was just too busy. Yes, it's true he is swamped with extracurriculars, but it's not as if I am asking him to drop them all for me - that would be selfish and just plain wrong. For a month I begged, but instead he ignored me. It came to the point where I kept leaving him. But I was too in love that I came back. Again. And again. And again.
You might be thinking, he probably have lost interest in me. That I could handle. I'm strong enough to know that he did not care for me anymore. I'm not that pathetic to hang around a guy who'd rather have me dead. But what irritates me is that he kept telling me he loves me, and he couldn't live without me. Call me a sap, but I bought it.
For a complete month I tried my best to reach out, but he shut me down. Finally, just last week, I was finally able to talk to him. He told me he would do anything just to fix this. I didn't buy any of it. I believed him for some time, but it wore off, like the color from cheap ass jeans. I ended it. For good. I did not get the closure I begged from him, but why wait for something that might never come? I was still in love with him - until now, actually, but he has hurt me enough.
I did not know what I did wrong. I did everything I could. I was selfless, I was honest, I was caring, I was faithful. I stepped out of my comfort zone, which is something I never did with guys. So why am I being treated like this? I think I still deserve to be treated like a queen, at least a human being.
Why is it that men are only there during the first few weeks? They treat you like royalty, and then suddenly - they're gone. It's so sad. If you don't tire of them, they tire of you. It's a vicious cycle. All relationships are bound to end. Why start it? I was struck with this thought. All men should be shot on sight.
On my way home from school, juggling my bag, my file case, my copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray, and my takeout from McDonalds, I realized that I probably walked away from one of the best guys I've ever dated. But it hit me. At least I walked away with my dignity and self-respect. Guys like these, smart, handsome, focused, good in bed, they are a dime a dozen, but my dignity, priceless.